


Gifts

by double_negative



Category: Zero Escape (Video Games)
Genre: Christmas, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:55:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28173537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/double_negative/pseuds/double_negative
Summary: Aoi and Light go to buy gifts for their sisters
Relationships: Light Field/Kurashiki Aoi
Kudos: 8
Collections: ZEcret Santa 2020





	Gifts

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Zecret Santa 2020 gift for @gaulemtypefemale-dm-l-016 on tumblr. Sorry it's late and so short, the work has been hectic.

The din of a mall on christmas is deafening, three different types of christmass songs blaring out of speaker system, mothers ushering their children to be quieter as they scramble around to be the next one on Santa's lap, disgruntled shoppers trying to get the last off their christams lists for family and friends, shop clercks chirping celebratory remarks, entirely too tired and overwoked. Even in that chaos, Light can hear Aoi's quiet remark.

"You should hate me, you know", the words are made ever more noticeable by a sharp tug on Light's arm, completely unnecessary hold Aoi has on him, but Aoi said it was not to lose each other in the crowd. Aoi comes to an abrupt stop and Light, held by him, does an abortive half-step before registering the words and realising it's another one of the Aoi's self-hate attacks. It's Light who carefully guides them, blindly, aside, only by sound to where they're not likely to be swept up or bumped into by people.

Aoi is silent after that. He lowers himself and Light realises there must be a bench where Aoi sat, still not letting go of his elbow. He's silent now, but his breathing is loud enough to Light to register even in the sounds of christmas all around them. He's breathing hard and fast from exertion, Light is sure if he touches Aoi's face right now it would be beaded with sweat.

It's Light's turn to speak now "But I don't hate you. I never hated you", he says, reaching for the bench to sit beside Aoi.

"I could have killed you", Aoi breathes out, "You died so many times because of me", he's heaving now, struggling to form words and Light actually put's his hand around Aoi's shaking form.

His attacks are less frequent now, but the guilt wracks Aoi even worse than before they started dating now.

"I'm alive. I'm with you", Light tries to speak calmly yet firmly to be heard above the crowd even without a keen sense of hearing.

Aoi shakes his head, trying to get Light's hands off him, but Light is unyelding, soothing circles into Aoi's back, breathing into his hair steadily, trying to make Aoi's breathing even out with his.

"I would have done the same for Clover, you know, if not worse", Light chuckles, realising how bad it must sound to Aoi, who's done worse, in different place, in different times.

Light soothes his hands over Aoi's hair, smoothing out the spikes crisp with product, draws his thumbs over Aoi's clammy face.

"You didn't do anything bad", he whispers into Aoi's hair, smelling vaguely of peppermint (or it's the shops?)

Aoi just shakes and heaves a heavy sob, his breathing hitching on words he wants to say, he needs to say, to beg of forgiveness, to break up then and there and Light knows, knows from the countless nightmares he's calmed down Aoi from, that it will pass.

"Do you remember why were here?" Light urges.

Aoi heaves again but this time it's not a sob, it's a chuckle, "Gifts".

"Right", Light, helps, "Gifts for our sisters because they're alive and we're alive and we're going to spend Christmas together and it will be a splendid moment. No one is in danger, Aoi, not anymore, you don't have to torture yourself"

Aoi finally relaxes in his arms a bit. "We need gifts". He's always like that, goal-driven, easy to forget his worries when there's a clear path laid out before him.

"What did you want to give Akane this Christmas?", Light urges, carefully trying to lead Aoi's thoughts from panic, from smoke and fire and pain, so much pain.

Aoi seizes up for a moment, but then relazes again, "I usually get books", his voice is so small, barely above a whisper, "But I always mix up what she really wants. She's not writing Santa letters anymore, you know", he finishes on a breath that might almost sound like a chuckle. His breathing, thankfully, is eavening out as he thinks of the person he loves most, of the person he's been through hell and back for.

"We could buy her a gift card and she will choose her own reading material, you know", Light proposes, still smoothing circles into Aoi's warm face, pressing out a kiss to Aoi's hairline, not caring if anyone would see them, exactly because she can't see if anybody's looking weird, and even if they are, to hell with them.

"And what are you getting Clover?", Aoi's voice is still shaky, but so much sure now.

"Oh, that's why I brought you along", Light smiles. "She wanted a new handbag and you're going to find that hideous thing she described me going by only words in the store".

Aoi breaks out in nervous laughter at that. What a joke they must look to busy shoppers, a punk who's having a full blown panic-attack because he almost killed his wonderful, better-than-anyone-else always-so-perfect boyfriend.

"Okay", he huffs, "okay, okay, okay. As an expert on terrible fashion I will help you".

When they stand up from the bench, Aoi still clearly breathing in fours, just like Light taught him, they huddle closer together as Aoi's unsteady legs go back into motion.

"I'm glad you're alive", Aoi mutters into Light's shoulder, almost imperceptible.

"I love you, you disaster of a man", Light replies and he's ready to breach the crowds again, holding his boyfriends arm not because he would be blind without him, but to also ground his shaky movement.

And if light could see, he would see Aoi's ears turn bright red above his scarf "I love you to, you smug bastard, I'm glad I didn't kill you".

"Of course you are", Light lets out a small laugh "Who else would it be, yoiu had it in for me since our first meeting".

"Right you are", Aoi admits, though begrudgingly. "Now which store was it?"


End file.
